NEW YEAR'S SEX LIFE

NEW YEAR’S SEX LIFE

These days, due to couples busy schedules, a handful of them struggle with sexual intimacy in the bedroom and the worst part is, they pretend as if it’s normal not wanting to have a conversation about it. 

Their sexual life almost always goes down the drain when these issues arise in different shapes and sizes: differing expectations, fears, lack of intimacy outside the bedroom, past sexual abuse, boredom, tension over frequency, loss of libido, unresolved hurts,  constant rejections, unmet needs, lack of variety, and long gaps, among others.

Sex is actually a skill, putting intentional effort into it, you are almost guaranteed to experience a turnaround improvement in your sex life. 

Research has shown that the best sex is marital sex: the most frequent and most satisfying, give it a boost to enable you have a better sex in the New Year.

A balanced wedlock is  a balanced union, that entails healthy vibrant and mutually fulfilling sexual life. 

As the “New year, new me” is running high, it serves as a perfect time to boost your sexual intimacy in the New year.

Although, getting couples to engage in an open dialogue about their sexual expectations is not easy: it is always complicated.

Talking is very important for a turnaround and boost in your sexual life.

 Here are some tips to guide you:

* A QUIZ

Take online quizzes like the erotic blueprint quiz: this will help to know when to be turned on or the sex personality test, this reveals your sexual communication style and how you can improve it. The bottom line is that, it helps you get to know yourself better or help you and your spouse get to know yourselves better sexually.

* ACTION STEP

Choose one action step that you can complete right away: something that will help you with your biggest sex block. Be sure to get the sex book delivered, and call your spouse to have that talk.

* BE INITIATIVE

Don’t be shy in bringing up sex subject with your lovebird. Use the opportunity to address some intimacy concerns  you have with your relationship for more mutually satisfying over the next year when addressed.

*HONEST APPRAISAL

Engage in a detailed intentional conversation identify affecting your sexual life identifying at least three top issues.

Involve your spouse to do the same, share with each other, discuss and find solutions together.

*ADDRESS STRUGGLES

Start listening to one another’s concerns about the gaps in your sex life. Never dismiss, deny, deflect or defend it, because for things to change, there has to be a substitute/game plan of what can be done in addressing the sexual gaps. Work together as a team to create some solutions and commit to making a number of changes. 

*ASSESS CONNECTION 

Have a talk about the nature of your relationship outside the bedroom: is there enough ‘us’ time? Where is your friendship? Are you still talking and playing? The greater your relationship with your partner outside the bedroom, the greater the chance you will have sexual connection in bed.

*INCREASE AFFECTION 

Check how often you hug each other. Does hugging only imply sex? Is kissing part of your daily interaction and part of your foreplay? Warmth, kindness and affection all show that the interest is more than just for sexual pleasure. As sexual intimacy is simply a fuller way to express your affection.

*TARGET MUTUALITY

Sexual intimacy needs to be satisfying to couples especially as you need to understand, respect and meet the needs of your spouse. 

One-sided sexuality: where it’s good for one but unsatisfying to the other is not allowed or acceptable. Be selfless in sex, be a giver not just a taker.

*TACKLE FREQUENCY 

This is not about gender or a male-female issue, as in husbands wanting more sex than their wives. Instead the high-libido spouse (sometimes the woman) and the low-sex drive partner have to find a balance.

 Both partners should feel free to initiate and some sexual times should be scheduled and   while others remain spontaneous. At the same time, agree on the number of times each month you can mate.

*TRY AVOIDING PORN

Nothing destroys the level of trust and intimacy in marriage like knowing that your spouse is getting off on sex videos of others, as your partner always feels hurt, inadequate Watching porn will not make you more sexual: rather, it neuters you.  

*FACE YOUR PAST

Past sexual experiences, like being sexually abused as a child, early exposure to pornography, or being sexually active and addicted as a teenager, could still be affecting you presently and making it really hard to negotiate through the sexual maze.

Don’t fret. Face these fears and don’t try to bury them. Get professional help to navigate through this process.

*TEAM PRAYER 

Always try to pray together. Present your sexual challenges to the Almighty God, especially as He created the passion for intimacy and truly wants you and your spouse to freely and fully enjoy it within the boundaries of marriage. Pray for new ideas and compromises to allow for sexual growth for you and your spouse.

*BREAK SILENCE 

 Reach out to a certified sex therapist who knows intimacy like the back of his or her hand to make the process faster and easier, just in case you are carrying sexual baggage and struggling with sexual intimacy from the past. Hence you will be having the best sex of your life long before December 2026 rolls around.

On a final note, don’t stop after the dopamine hit of accomplishment. Work out a plan with a few longer-term actions that will give you a sex life that’s no longer stressful or boring.

HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR ROUND IN THE BEDROOM TOO.

Meet SissyAde, a renowned Sex therapist and coach dedicated to nurturing meaningful relationships and marriages. 

With expertise in Sex Therapy, Relationship Coaching, and more, SissyAde empowers individuals and couples to build healthy, fulfilling connections that works globally, fostering love and collaboration.