QUESTION ❓ ANSWER ❗

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*QUESTIONS❓ ANSWERS❗*

Dear Adesuwa,

I’m a big fan who loves reading your column on Sunday Vanguard. 

I’m married with children but l don’t like using condoms for sex, same with my wife, and l don’t want more children.

So what can we do to prevent unwanted pregnancy?

Frank, Lagos

Hello Frank,

Look for the best time and for natural birth control methods- Do you want to know what your options are?

• Fertility awareness methods of birth control involve your wife keeping track of her monthly menstrual cycle @ ovulation: this method is based on her own body without medication. It’s free and safe, and can be quite effective if done the right way but it’s not always easy to do.

The whole essence Is to predict the days of the month she is most likely to conceive, which would most likely be around the time she ovulates, so she has to skip from lovemaking on such days.

With a regular cycle, the possibility of getting pregnant is five percent but it could be as high as 24 percent if the method is not perfectly used, if her periods happen to be irregular.

• Withdrawal method- This means pulling out your manhood out of her vagina before ejaculating.

It is another way to avoid unwanted pregnancy, by not allowing sperm to meet an egg.

This is not as easy as it sounds as the man actually needs a lot of self control to time it right and there is a 22 percent possibility of her getting pregnant with this method.

Because if you are caught in the moment and don’t pull out on time or even if you succeed in pulling out on time, there’s a pre-ejaculation fluid that is discharged from the penis and it contains a small amount of sperm and this could cause conception.

• Try settling for Outercourse sex- An alternative to penetrative sex during the periods she’s not safe or ovulating as there are a lot of other sexual experiences that you and your wife can satisfactorily benefit from since it doesn’t involve vaginal sex.

On a final note, talk to your doctor if worried that the above might not work for you.

Dear Adesuwa,

Is it normal for my vagina to be very wet during love making?

My husband is complaining especially as his manhood keeps slipping out.

What can l do to stop him slipping out.

  Bimpe, Lagos

Dear Bimpe,

There’s no medical diagnosis for a vagina  being too wet during intercourse.

Vaginal wetness is extremely important for pleasurable, non painful love making. However if your vagina is producing too much fluid at nonsexual times, it can be a sign of an infection.

One of the reasons he slips out, can be as a result of losing erection, especially if he stays at the tip of the vagina especially when the lady is having an orgasm.

There’s a scientific explanation: it’s just normal for the shaft of the penis to slide out because of the lubrication, the thrusting action and even how you and your man move.

How your body moves, what feels good and what doesn’t, change in position or change in rhythm, can certainly cause slipping out.

So go easy on the lube. Too much of it and thrusting really fast with lots of those juices can make it difficult to stay inside.

Here’s  how to stop the slipping- Let him use shallow thrust movements, this makes it less possible to slip out.

And if you see that he’s always slipping out during the missionary position, then try different positions and find that one style that makes both of you more comfortable.

Most times, angles, positions and even thrusts, can make slipping possible, so, utilize your pillows to get the perfect angle before you engage.

It’s like you’re endowed with natural juices, don’t be afraid to wipe some off so the wetness can be minimized and do not be afraid to talk about this.

The best way to have better sex is to be open with one another, feel free
to try out different positions and methods of pleasure.

 Never limit yourself with just one position when you know that it minimizes the slipping accidents.

Try other positions and you’ll see just how many options you can choose from.

Get to know your body and that of your guy to enable both of you have a healthy, pleasurable and fulfilling sex life.

SissyAde is an Integrative sex therapist/relationship coach/sex columnist and a family speaker who works globally.

She enjoys sewing when not working!