CONNECTING WITH A BUSY SPOUSE.

CONNECTING WITH A BUSY SPOUSE.

Finding ways to connect with a busy spouse can be quite challenging especially in today’s hectic world. This can sometimes lead to a feeling of neglect or isolation. A busy spouse can be a handful to connect with but remember that, the strength of your bond cannot be measured by the sheer amount of time you spend together; instead, it’s by the quality of those intimate moments.

The beauty of this, is for one to be intentional and think of it as a workout that you have to engage in to get stronger in building your muscles. The same goes for your union: your intimate response will not grow stronger if you do not deliberately build it up.

Here are ways to nurture your relationship despite the tight schedule :

• Schedule quality time by planning regular dates or activities, even if it’s just a walk or dinner together. Maintaining a consistent schedule is key to harmony and satisfaction for busy partners.

• Communicate effectively, couples deserve to have their needs met in marriage. So if your spouse’s busy schedule is disturbing you, communicate this to him or her, by using their preferred communication method like text, email, or phone calls to stay in touch and share your thoughts, feelings, and needs.

• Go on errands together  to find new ways of connecting. If going to the supermarket is the only way you get quality time together during the day, seize the chance and make the most of it.

Running errands together can be pretty fun and even romantic.

* Ritualize your mealtimes together no matter how busy your spouse is. Make time for important stuff like eating together as certain mealtimes into a daily or weekly ritual can bring in the much needed consistency into your union and give you the chance of really connecting.

* The use of technology can drive a wedge between lovers but on the other hand, it can be a tool for greater good. That you cannot physically hang out because your spouse is never around does not mean you cannot bond over live video, chat or memes.

Being online can help you feel connected to each other in times of loneliness thereby, encouraging more positive dynamics when stuff gets difficult.

• Prioritise romance and intimacy because if your lovebird is busy, there’s a tendency that sex may take the back seat. Any healthy marriage encourages sex not just in a physical way.

* Make sure to crave out regular time for romantic gestures like cuddling, kissing, holding hands; helps to strengthen emotional connection especially if you spice things up with sex toys or different styles to the mix.

* Plan exciting dates/getaways as spontaneous dates can fly out of the window. Make sure that you both get to spend enough quality time together with planned dates being the key.

* Extend some understanding since not being together can be just as tough for your mate as it is on you.

In case your marriage foundation is solid for you both to willingly make this sacrifice, practicing the act of empathy for other’s circumstance will be a healthy thing to do. Being understanding can actually alleviate tension and equally remind you that this situation will not necessarily last forever.

• Seek support for yourself if feeling neglected or overwhelmed. Also, consider couples therapy or support groups.

Every relationship is unique, resist the urge to put your union on the back burner.

Find ways to connect with what works best for you and your busy spouse: by prioritizing your marriage, and make the small moments count for the two of you.

SissyAde, a seasoned integrative sex therapist/relationship coach/family speaker: loves to relax watching movies.

She works globally.