
SEXUAL BURNOUT IN MARRIAGE.
Sexual burnout like any other burnout refers to partners in a romantic union gradually developing feelings of exhaustion, depression and pessimism about their spouses.Ongoing stress between spouses can overwhelm their marriage and the coping mechanism within it. The tricky part of burnout in any form, is that people tend to experience it before seeing it.
This is a common phenomenon that even healthy couples experience; sexual burnout in marriage is a state of physical/mental and emotional exhaustion which can lead to a decrease in one’s sexual desire for intimacy.
The signs of sexual burnout varies, it is not the same for everyone. Here are some of the most common features:
*Spousal blame: It is the most obvious red flag of sexual burnout in marriage, heightened by bickering, arguing and blame game. You notice this when spouses project their relationship problems onto each other instead of taking stock of the dynamics and their own emotional and mental health.
*Avoidance of the future- When couples deliberately avoid thinking or talking about future plans together that could be as simple as a short trip or as vital as a career plan. This can signal that, they are feeling worn out/exhausted or unmotivated to make long-term commitments.
*Communication gap/Quality time- This is actually the very first warning signs of burnout, when there’s decrease in quality communication, and of time spent together. Both stop having meaningful conversations, neglect or avoid each other’s company and reducing physical intimacy.
*Spouse’s ego- Lack of motivation to improve as no one is ready to take the first step.
Note that all relationships go through difficult times and for marriage to work, every spouse must put their dynamics in perspective; revealing areas for improvement.
Causes of sexual burnout can stem from different factors such as the following:
Poor communication: lack of a proper communication about sexual needs, desires and boundaries can result in disconnection and burnout.
Emotional disconnection: not addressing relationships issues, conflicts, on time and emotional distancing can extinguish sexual desire.
Mismatched energy: if a partner feels like he/she is putting more effort than the other spouse, feeling of neglect and resentment can grow. If it persists for too long, it can result in lack of motivation to work on the union.
Being monotonous: Indulging in a predictable and unvaried routine overtime can become boring and uninteresting thereby leading to burnout.
Over familiariliarity: being in comfort zone and familiarity tend to breed contempt, making intercourse feel obligatory instead of exciting.
Stress/exhaustion: fatigue, stress, exhaustion and other health challenges can reduce sex drive and energy for lovemaking.
Hormonal changes or fluctuation during pregnancy, menopausal or any other life stages, can take a toll on libido.
Medical condition/Medication: conditions like vaginal dryness or erectile dysfunction can cause burnout, while some medications such as antidepressants or blood pressure drugs can lower or reduce sex drive.
Lack of intimacy: not paying attention or prioritizing sex over emotional intimacy and connection can cause burnout.
Unrealistic expectations: comparing your sexual life to what you watch on movie/Netflix and unrealistic standards can create pressure and burnout.
Lack of foreplay: neglect quality foreplay or the lack of it and emotional connection can make sex boring and impersonal and this may eventually lead to burnout.
Every marriage is unique and sexual burnout commonly happens when the martial bliss have passed the honeymoon level, and if left unchecked, it can result in major strain, resentment and breakup.
You addressing the underlying causes and prioritizing communication, emotional connection, and intimacy can help ignite the spark in your marriage.
How do you overcome the hurdles of burnout?
Don’t miss next edition!
SissyAde An Integrative Sex Therapist/Relationship Coach, Loves Collaboration And Works Globally.
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