PILLOW CHATTING

PILLOW CHATTING.

Ladies and gentlemen is it true you have been looking for how to crave out time from your busy schedule, endless to-do list and family responsibilities to work on your marriage/relationship?

In a nutshell, pillow chatting in the way to go.

Pillow chat is simply the act of intimate, authentic conversation that occurs between man and wife before sleeping off during cuddling, before or after sexual intimacy.

The beauty of engaging in nightly pillow conversation is that, it doesn’t have to be hour long talk before sleep and it’s one of such times  couples share their feelings. Are truthful and honest with one another and ends up bonding in a very powerful way especially if it’s consistently done over time could help in creating a positive environment for relationship and health to thrive.

A quick look at this scenario- “Let’s talk about sex, baby. Let’s talk about you and me. Let’s talk about all the good things and the bad things that can be. Sound familiar? That’s because it’s the lyrics of a Salt ’n’ Peppa song. This prolific 90’s duo pretty much nailed pillow talk without even trying.

“Pillow talk is not always sexual but it is always emotional,” says Dr. Jane Fleishman, Ph.D, an AASECT certified sexuality educator. Whether it’s pre-nookie, post-coital or simply the quiet musings that happen when you’re snuggling up.

 Seeing that life is so busy, settling into sleep chat may be the only alone time one can get to talk with your spouse. “Pillow talk can keep the sensual bond with your partner fresh, playful and exciting,” says Kiana Reeves, Somatic Sex Expert.

“Being able to talk openly and intimately is essential in a good relationship,” says Reeves. And there’s something about being in bed that can inspire honest conversation between two people. “The bed is symbolically and literally where you share the most intimate moments,” one of the reasons pillow chats work is actually because it allows for more in-depth conversations without self- censorship and this is what differentiates pillow conversation from any other kinds of talks. “So it makes sense that this space elicits safety and connectedness.” And it’s not just the physical space of the bed that makes pillow talk so special- it’s also the way we are positioned, according to marriage and family therapist Dr. Juliana Morris. Often the lights are out or we are laying side-by-side or we are cuddling. “When you are not able to see each other, you are able to solely focus on the words being shared,” she explains.

You may want to consider pillow talk in case you want some spark back in your sexual life as it can help boost activity in the bedroom even though it doesn’t come naturally for some lovers.

Pillow talk is not the same as dirty talk- Dirty talk when indulging in during foreplay and intercourse can heightened arousal, more intimate time with your lover and it’s not the same thing as pillow chat that’s more emotionally intimate and vulnerable although it can lead to dirty talk.

Certain topics should not be encouraged during pillow talk- For instance you had a stressful day with a lot on your mind and as hard as it may be, try saving it for another time. “When you are going to bed for the night, lead with love, even if you’ve had some tension,” says Alexandra Fine, sexologist.

Which brings us to the questions of matters that should be banned from the bed like ex-lovers, fights, gripes, criticisms and major life decisions so as to avoid sabotaging your sexual life by bringing up issues that may not go down with your spouse right before going to bed.

Although it’s not healthy to ignore these topics altogether, you can always put a time limit  such as no work talk after  8p.m.

It’s very okay if spouses don’t feel like talking at all as “Non-verbal communication is 100% communication and it counts,” especially as physical touch is just as effective as verbal affirmations. You can simply put your legs on your lover, then lightly rub his or her back/arms or spooning; these non verbal affections can serve as an impactful way to connect and care for each other before you go to sleep and helps to anchor intimacy and keeps the passion flowing.

Knowing that pillow talk and love making happens in bed, it is natural to join the dots just in case you want pillow talk to lead to sex, then you can start with complimenting your spouse, appreciating their bodies and sexual acts; for example “I thought you looked hot in that suit today,” or “I love when you kiss me like that,” build on those compliments by being sexually suggestive about things you want to try. This intimate talk can boost your sex libido and performance in bed and the tendency of hitting orgasm is high when emotionally satisfied.

Pillow chat may look trivial but a couple that indulge in the right discussions in bed will always come out happier when compared to their counterpart that has the wrong conversation in bed, not only in love but also in real life.

Communication is very vital in marriages but finding the perfect time to communicate can leave couples feeling drenched in love and bliss, exactly what pillow chatting does to romance. You and your spouse alone enjoying downtime together without the world watching or listening in and no distractions

A quick look at some advantages of pillow talking:

•The more time you pillow chat, the more likely your feelings/desires will turn into comfort as it offers a moment to appreciate and relive the time you fell in love with one another: like a flashback to the beginning of your affair which can help to ignite that lost spark and you might just get lovey-dovey all over again.

•Pillow chatting can help to save marriages and boost one’s health being- It’s a powerful tool for cementing your bond with your lovebird; offer couples the chance to share their feelings, show care and appreciate each other including airing their concerns, fears, joys and deep-seated feelings.

Burst stress, better sleep, end the day on a positive note and take their intimacy to a whole new level: help you enjoy a more fulfilling and intimate life along with feeling more secured in your relationship (feeling emotionally and physically amazing) which possibly will help to reduce anxiety, ailments and with overall better mental and physical health.

•It enhances trust- Pillow chat is about releasing, allowing vulnerability, and showing up authentically with your significant other and it’s one reason spouses who spend more time chatting to one another in bed show higher levels of trust.

•Improves good night sleep- A number of times you may find it difficult sleeping when on the bed with the brain not ready to shut off completely and with your mind whirling up and down. One way to calm down is through pillow chat, get your out in the open which will help your mind rest as well as make you rest and sleep better.

Pillow chatting is infinitely loaded with benefits and it won’t hurt to give it a try for a healthy marriage. So make it a habit and you will see a trend of positive life.